Yesterday I got coffee with a friend and I was blessed by her openness, vulnerability, and willingness to tell me about her life. I have to say, hearing people’s testimonies and life stories, specially the ones where God really transformed them, is my absolute favorite. Hearing stories reminds me that I am human, that life is messy, and that I am meant to be in a community where encouragement and vulnerability is emphasized.
So back to coffee. She explained to me what her tattoo meant, “This is Now.” When I asked the meaning, I did not expect her to completely open up and share so much about her life. But by doing so I was able to see her beautiful heart, and everything that God has done in her life. I was amazed with what she shared; so much transformation, so much brokenness that God has now turned into beauty. She told me that her tattoo was a reminder to live in the moment. It is so easy to be burdened by our past and keep our heads pointed to the ground; missing things that are right in front of us. It is also easy to be so focused on the future that we miss out on the present. We are so consumed with our careers and future that we miss the journey. Her tattoo is a personal reminder and word given to her from God, but in the same way, it changed my life.
I need to stop worrying about my future. It is one thing to have dreams for the future, but it is another thing to be consumed. Lately, I have been so concerned with the past and future that I have been missing out on the Now. I have been burdening myself with the past; wishing that things had ended up differently. I have been holding onto a hope that ultimately I am not in control of. I cannot change what happened, and I cannot dream for something that is out of my control. It is not healthy. So instead of being concerned with the past and wishful towards the future, I’m resetting my perspective. This is Now.
Karina- thanks so much for coffee yesterday. You blessed me in ways that I was not expecting. I value our friendship, and I’m excited to get to know you even more. You are beautiful inside and out, never forget that.
I miss my babies. The longer that I’m home from Africa, the easier it is to forget. Forget the people, the places, the poverty, and all that I learned. That was my biggest fear. I hate that I can experience something so life changing, yet already forget what I have seen. I’m trying to keep the same perspective that I had after being in Africa. It has been an adjustment, but its one that it so, so necessary.