I am excited to go on an airplane on Thursday. Those of you who know me well, know that I can only get excited in stages. I can only be excited for one thing at a time. So right now, I am excited to go to LAX at 5 am on Thursday and board a plane to Ecuador. Once I am on the plane, I can get excited to be in Ecuador. And once I land, I can be excited about spreading the gospel and Christs’ love to the communities and churches we will be planting. I’m excited.
Negativity is not a norm for me. I like happy things. Sunshine, sand between my toes, golden sunflowers and sipping coffee. I’ve been told several times that, “I smile too much.” Something has switched in my mind this year, though. The last 6 months have been hard; and I am realizing that my struggles, while I am healed and happy again, have changed my thinking. The hurt is healed, but it has left some saddening scars.
I am a glass half full gal. Always have, and always will be. Always looking for the good in things and expecting lessons from the trials. God is always good, so why should I view my life any other way? When I take a step back from my immediate thinking and look at the bigger picture, I realize that God has done incredible things in my life. This perspective is the one that I need to force myself to remember. To take a step back and look at my life in its entirety, not just at the current stress or situation.
I remember talking to my therapist about seasons. We all have them. Good seasons full of happiness, encouragement, success and improvements. But then there are the hard seasons full of challenges, pain, heartache and stress. I remember telling her, “I finally feel good… I think that I am coming out of this hard season. But I can’t help to wonder when the next hard season will come.” Its like I’m finally happy, walking boldly and strong; but I can see that dark cloud of negativity in the near future. I expect it now.
This just doesn’t sit well with me. Because the positive, carefree girl that I used to be does not like the idea of expecting something negative to happen to me. Realistically, bad things happen all the time and are completely out of our control. However, I am sure that we are not supposed to expect them to happen. If I am happy in this moment, why waste it away by thinking about something negative that MAY happen soon/ in the future.
I am learning to be content. With whatever season, day or moment I may be in. Because regardless of whether I like it or not, it is a gift. I am learning to be present and honest in whatever I am facing. And even though these past 6 months have been hard and have left me with some insecurities and scars, I am choosing to rise above them. I am choosing positivity. Because life is short, and I don’t have time to waste my life with a cloud over my head. Aint nobody got time for that.
I am choosing to be positive. You should too.
We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. (Hebrews 6:19)
Remember, when difficulties arise, focus on the fact that you have the ultimate victory. Don’t let fear paralyze you; instead, put your faith and hope in God. Those things that the enemy meant for evil, God will turn around for your good. He’ll lead you out stronger, wiser and more alive than ever before.
I want to go on a roadtrip.